and now for something completely different / fettuccine with cashew alfredo

Sometimes I like to write poetry. And since I'm on a cleanse right now (translation: no life), I'm feeling less cynical and more contemplative. I know...boring, boring, boring. But what else am I supposed to do when it's 20 degrees outside and I can't drink? Exactly. Poetry is the answer. Here's one that I wrote about my mom and I...

“I had a thought today,” said my mother to me,

“and it didn’t make me sad or glad. It was just there in front of me

like a wide-eyed creature.”

A sparrow landed on the slate patio and picked up a piece of millet.

I asked her what it was.

“That we are insignificant. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, 

we don’t matter.” 

The sky was ocean blue with white-capped clouds.

“We are dust gathering in a corner, we are blades of grass

hanging onto the earth;

we are the small things that no one ever sees, we are seeds blowing on a wayward sojourn;

we are the raindrops that never reach the ground,

splattered on a bough, a fence, a rooftop—we are nothing.”

The phone was ringing. Mom always answers, but she didn’t get up. 

I guess she didn’t hear it. 

I smiled. She knew that I knew exactly what she meant because I always did. 

I agreed, of course, and asked her how this insignificance made her feel. 

“Like a wet blanket lifting from my shoulders,” she said, “like the first burst of radiant sunlight over a sleeping field—shouting—go on and do it Kim! 

Go on and wear the clothes you want, go on and tell the world how you feel about it, 

because in the end, none of it will matter!”

We shared a maniacal laugh. 

The laundry announced that it was clean. 

Yes, I thought to myself, this is one of those pure moments. 

This is what really matters.   

Now that you're feeling nostalgic and want to call your mom and tell her you love her, why not indulge in a sinfully rich dish with your unicorn friends and watch Steel Magnolias? This fettuccine alfredo will blow you away with its creaminess without the added nastiness of dairy. In fact, this dish is soy and gluten free too so I can't think of one person who won't be able to eat this (unless you're allergic to cashews in which case, I feel sorry for you because they are the greatest nut on the planet). 

Fettuccine with Cashew Alfredo

for the pasta:

1 box of fettuccine noodles (use whole wheat noodles or brown rice noodles to make it gluten free)

1 large yellow onion, sliced

1 box of button mushrooms, sliced

1 red pepper, sliced

*optional* a few handfuls of spinach or kale or chard (everything I make has greens in it because I am a dirty hippie...and unicorns love their greens)

sea salt & black pepper to taste

for the sauce:

2 cups raw cashews

1/2 cup stock or water

3 T fresh lemon juice

4 cloves garlic (sliced and sauteed in a little olive oil for 1 minute)

1 cup almond milk (I use unsweetened, but if you want to use "original" then omit the coconut nectar)

1 tsp dried thyme

1 tsp coconut nectar (I love this minimally processed sweetener, but you can easily substitute agave nectar or brown rice syrup)

2 T nutritional yeast (buy it in the bulk section of a natural foods store)

1 T tamari (naturally brewed, gluten free soy sauce. You can sub with regular shoyu too.)

pinch of sea salt

Get out a big pot and fill it up with lots of water and a generous pinch of sea salt. Cover, and bring to a boil, then add noodles and cook according to package directions. Meanwhile, saute your onion in some olive oil until soft, then add mushrooms, stir once or twice, then add the rest of your veggies. Season with salt and pepper. 

In a high speed blender (buy a Vita-Mix! They're amazing!!!) add all sauce ingredients and blend on variable speed until combined, then pump it up to highest speed until creamy and smooth. If you're using a Vita-Mix, leave motor running until sauce is heated up. If you're using a conventional blender, remove once creamy and smooth, then gently heat in a saucepan until warm (if your blender is a little weak, soak the cashews for an hour first, then add to blender with everything else). Toss noodles with sauce and a bit of the starchy water from the pot to thin out the sauce, if desired. Add veggies and serve to four nostalgic unicorns who want to feed their emotions.